I love writing. I love it with all my heart. I don’t only love to write about what I observe or about the thoughts that are running through my mind. I also love to create through writing. I love making up new worlds. It’s the world of writing stories. Where anything is possible and where there are no rules. It’s not always easy to create a new story, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. A few weeks ago I have started with writing fiction again after not having done it for a year. I just didn’t have much inspiration for a new story last year. But now I’ve come up with a great idea!I’ll be writing a bunch of short stories inspired by Rupi Kaur’s poems. She is an amazing poet and I’ve fallen in love with her poetry over the year. I really feel like her simple but meaningful poems have made poetry more popular. In this post, I’ll be sharing the first short story that I wrote here on my blog. It was first posted on my Wattpad (click here), so if you would like to give it a like there, that would mean the world to me. The other short stories will be posted there too soon. I hope you’ll like it. Please let me know your thoughts. Here is the first story:
Lost my place "you call to tell me you miss me I turn to face the front door of the house Waiting for a knock Days later you call to say you need me But still aren't there The dandelions on the lawn Are rolling their eyes in disappointment The grass has declared you yesterday's news What do I care If you love me Or miss me Or need me When you weren't doing anything about it If I'm not the love of your life I'll be the greatest loss instead" - Rupi Kaur - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sometimes I wonder when a relationship is considered a long distance one. Do need you to live in two different countries or could you be living in the same country, but still hours away from each other? Or could you very maybe even call it a long distance relationship when you're living half an hour away from each other? Where's the line? I'm not sure, but it's just something I can't stop thinking about. That is because I have a boyfriend living 30 minutes away from me and he just feels so far away from me. Now I'm not talking about 30-minute car ride but a 30-minute bike ride. Yes, you read that right, a bike ride. I might be 18, but that doesn't automatically mean I also already have my driver's license. My parents can't afford to pay it for me and I don't have the money for it either. So yeah, that sucks. Now, this should be no problem if my boyfriend could just drive to my house, and although he does own a driver's license, he doesn't own a car and his parents won't let him borrow theirs. And because he's kind of lazy, it usually ends being me cycling to his house. So here I am once again, on my bicycle, on my way to my boyfriend, Louis. I don't mind having to cycle all the way to his house very often because he's worth it. I know that sounds incredibly cliché, but it's love that makes me such things. And I'm very much in love with Louis. When I look ahead of me, I see a cloudy sky and by the color of the clouds, anyone can tell that it could start raining any second. 15 minutes later I arrive at Louis' house and surprisingly, I manage to make it there before the start of the rainfall. I look up at the big house and all the curtains are closed. It surprises me for a second, but then I realize that today it's Friday, the day the cleaning lady, Tanya, always has the day off. She actually also never works during the weekends. She does everything in the household in that house. Louis' mum died years ago and his dad is a businessman, meaning he's a lot away from home because of his job. Luckily it doesn't take long before the door is being opened by Louis. My lips turn into a big smile when I see him. He gives me a hug and then we walk inside, upstairs to his room. He lets himself fall on his bed and I copy him. Next to the bed are some beer bottles, a bottle of coke and a bag of chips. "Suit yourself." he says. He turns on his Xbox and starts playing a game. "Do you also want to play?", he asks me. "No, I'll just watch." I give him a reassuring smile. I stare at him, while he's intensely focused on the tv screen, playing some shooting game. In this dark room, the light of the tv reflects on his face, illuminating only him. "Hey", I say, poking him softly. "I've missed you, you know." I tell him. He turns his head to me. "Well, I'm glad you're here now." he says, looking at me, holding my hand for a few seconds. Then he starts focussing on his game again. I grab the bag of chips from the floor and I lean my head on his shoulders. Because I can't bear watching another one of his violent games, I close my eyes and focus on our heartbeats. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tick-tack tick-tack. The sound of the ticking clock is all my ears can hear. There is no more place for a maths problem. I don't like maths, but right now I really wish it was possible for this class to take at least one more hour. It will be lunch break in 15 minutes and for once in my life, I am not looking forward to it. That is because, my best and only friend, Rachel, texted me this morning, telling me that she wouldn't be at school today because she has a fever. Now Louis and I are attending the same school, so I could ask if I can sit him, but lately whenever I've asked him if I can sit with him, he just always tells me that he's already going to play basketball with his friends during lunch break. Sometimes it annoys me. I know that basketball is very important to him, but can't he just skip playing it sometimes for me? Shouldn't spending time with his girlfriend also be very important to him? But maybe it's just selfish of me to think like that. The moment has arrived. The bell has rung and I'm walking through hallways hoping to find Louis. I see him walking at the end of the hallway and I walk towards him at a fast pace, but in a careful way because I don't want the whole school to look at me. "Louis, Louis, wait a second." I say when I'm only a few meters behind him. "Hey, what's up?" he asks. "Can we have lunch together?" "No, sorry I already promised the boys that I would go play basketball with them." Of course, what else did I expect? "Can you maybe hang out sometime this week then? It has been more than two weeks since the last time we spent time together." "No, I really can't this week. I'm just so busy at the moment with school and basketball. You know what, I'll call you tonight. I really have to go now." And again I'm disappointed. But at least he'll call me tonight so that's a relief. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Bye." He walks away and so do I. And again I'm all by myself. Well, now this disastrous lunch break has officially begun. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm sitting in my room behind my desk, staring outside. The sun is starting to set and right now that is way more interesting to look at than the history books in front of me. I just can't get myself to focus tonight. Today really sucked because Rachel wasn't at school, Louis thought that spending his lunch break playing was more important than spending it with me for once and because mum and dad are working till late today, I had to make dinner for me and my sisters. We didn't have all the ingredients I need anymore, so before I could make dinner, I first had to stop by the supermarket. It can be so hard, being the oldest sister in a family with both the parents working till late on some days. There's just so much responsibility. On those days I just feel like I'm the mom. And it can be very tiring. At moments like these, it just feels like everything is just becoming a little too much. I decide to call Louis. We were planning on calling tonight anyway. "Hey." he says. "Hi, it's me." "Oh hey Rebecca, how's your day been?" "It was okay. I missed you during lunch break." "Yeah, I missed you too. But you know how important the boys and basketball are to me, right?" "Yes, of course." I look at myself in the mirror and I see a girl with a sad smile on her face. "What are you doing?" I ask. "I just started gaming." "But I thought you were busy." "Well, I am. I was just earlier done with my homework than I had expected." "Okay." "I miss you." "I miss you too. You know, you could come ov-" "I'm sorry Rebecca I really have to go. My dad is calling me. Bye." And then he hangs the phone up. Ugh, there we go again. After that phone call, I just can't focus on any school work anymore. I'm thinking about him and me. Louis, my boyfriend. We've been together for almost three months, but the past month things have started to change. In a bad way. He isn't the boy that I used to know anymore. We used to spent much more time together and at the moment, we barely see each other. I feel like that every time I've asked him if he wanted to hang out, he had another excuse and it basically came down to it that he was just too busy to spent time with me. It's like he isn't even trying to make us work anymore. I've talked to Rachel multiple times about this and every time she comes with the same advice: "only you know what the right decision is to make. Just follow your heart." And that is much easier said than done. My heart loves him but also doubts if this relationship is right and healthy for me. I unlock my phone and look at our texts from yesterday. Rebecca: It's been so long since somebody made me laugh so hard like you just did!😂 I love you!😘 Louis: I love you too and I miss you!😘❤️ He hasn't said those words to me in real life lately. He used to tell me those words when we were hanging out, but lately he has only been telling me those words when we're texting or calling, never face to face anymore. I hear a ping from my phone. It's a Facebook notification. It says that Louis tagged me. I unlock my phone, open Facebook and see the picture. The picture says "tag someone you miss a lot." It doesn't reach my heart. He can tell me so many things through a device, but it will never reach my heart if he can't even say it to me in my face. Maybe tomorrow it's time. It's time to choose for myself. I'm no one's possession. I'm just another human being that deserves to be truly loved and to actually be given that love and time. And it clearly looks like I'm not worth someone's time anymore. If I'm not the love of his life, I'll be his greatest loss instead.